The most wonderful sight in the world is seeing bombay shimmering in lights as you fly over and the saddest sight is seeing those lights disappear. how i miss it sometimes, i wondered was it beacause of the people. was it because of the memories that i had there. well i guess its a mixture of both if it wasnt for my friends i would never have liked it as much. if it wasnt for all the things i did there i wouldnt have anything to remeber it with. but the way the city looks bathed in light with cars snaking down its roads is a beautiful.
some say that living in india after you have travelled the world is mad. well i guess i am mad then because i wouldnt want to live anywhere else

Sometimes it feels like life has come to a standstill
The horizon seems bleak and it feels like im dragging a stone while walking through a desert
Maybe its just the jabs I have taken
even the mightiest fall after all
Unless its the calm I feel before I start a storm
The days seem endless at times
the nights calm as a bomb
the insomnia kicks in and then you just lay awake dreaming with your eyes wide open
the night grows older but the eyes keep seeking something dont exactly know what
the mind never seems to rest, constant thoughts are a vice at times
If i can find definition i say to myself but then I have that
Maybe a vision is what I need
Maybe hope is what is missing
Maybe its me...

My new inspiration.... JORDAN SPARKS

yes i know this coming from me will seem a bit odd.. but then i was listening to One step at a time and it made me think not a lot of songs make me think but this one did... it speaks volumes... maybe i should learn from the song and do what the song says take one step at a time... well it will help a lot thats for sure...instead of runnin like flash and then falling and failing i could jog or brisk walk :P

for those unaware of this woman and her work
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bAYmDNov6Q0

My second inspiration MARTY McConnell..what a woman.. she speaks her mind and speaks volumes... she taught me to listen to the voice of my wild heart... and terror of the way im headed is a sure sign that heading in the right direction... one adjective may not be enough to describe her and her inspirational work... so i will let you see for your self
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bS3jfY3_AWw

there is one more inspiration who doesnt have a youtube video and who isnt talked about in the papers or online... unfortunately he aint alive, but he was a great man a man who spent his life trying to help society who got very little money in return sometimes met people who were ungrateful to him who left him thinking if he was doing any good but he continued his work... he made a small insignificant thing into a monument... single-handly he changed the face of medicine in his region... he did what was thought impossible... he was a person who was 3 steps ahead of his present and who never gave up on his beliefs...whenever i walk away from his grave it leaves me feeling hungry to do more in life... i hope that one day i will remebered like you

Navin Mistry (Johnny) met with an accident on the 4th April'09 around 1:10 in the afternoon when he was on his way to the office and has been undergoing treatment for head injuries at MGM hospital, Vashi, New Bombay.

During the accident he suffered injuries to the head causing multiple clots and internal bleeding. He underwent an immediate surgery (craniotomy) on the very same day and was incubated and connected to the ventilator but post surgery results showed the presence of residual clots for which he underwent another surgery (decompressed craniotomy) on 09/04/09.
Repeat surgeries were performed for removing the Skull cap (left and right hemisphere, respectively) to ease the pressure caused by massive swelling of the brain.


On 09/04/09 the hospital gave us an approximate expenditure of Rs.6,50,000 (Six Lakhs Fifty Thousand) excluding the cost of medicines, which is amounting to around 10-15 thousand per day. This estimate was given to us prior to the last surgery. Currently the hospital costs are expected to be around Rs.10,00,000 and the medicines will probably amount to approx. Rs. 500000(Total likely expenditure estimated is Rs 15 lacs as of today).

Navin was the only earning menber of his family and the expenses for his treatment are well over his family's savings, hence we need to contribute in any possible way.

We have approached various trusts, politicians & institutions but the response till now is not very positive and any action from their side will take months.

When will it end... when will be complete again
sometimes life seems so bleak and so dark that i wish i could just run away
sometimes it feels like i am worthless
there are times when i wish it would just rain so that atleast someone will shed tears
sometimes it feels like nothin can be done
i have never felt so powerless
i used to love dancing to the music of my heart and now the music is gone
i used to love being my inner child and now the inner child seems to have grown up

i never hated the summer now i do and i dont know why

i wish i was me again

My Ode to MJ
she crumbled in my arms
weeping away her pain
she was all i needed to feel content at that moment
her sweet smell filling my senses
her touch putting my mind at ease
as i lay there with her against my lips
i felt complete
i didn't feel like letting go
no words needed to be exchanged
there was no anguish no pain
our dreams where the same
my breathing breaking the silence
the birds sang in a distance
the sun slowly crept up the horizon
i felt the pain disappear
i closed my eyes as we became one

i wrote this one ages ago never really got to blogging it well thts my random thoughts as usual at its finest should be more like it....

anyhows its been a while since i opened my mind and wrote and this week a long lost friend helped clear my mind a lot
he was one of the first influences on my mind, he was one of the main reasons i decided not to follow the anyone but become myself
someone recently told me in the past people could not define me aand they still cant i doubt if they will ever be able to...
i dont know if i will be able to define myself lets see i think of myself as a non-conformist i think of myself as cold at times i dont like to harm people i dont know what i feel anymore i think i am happy but i am not... i think i am alright but my mind keeps thinking... i doubt if i will ever be defined but then it is not a bad thing it only adds to my legacy...
i always have let my mine think sometimes i felt like i should stop but then i never did and i dont think i ever will...
well that is enough ranting for one day

i call this one MY OWN

As i lay awake in bed

seeing the lights shimmering i wondered to myself what is mine

the haze of smoke could not help me find an answer

the blurring vision didn't help either

the night grew cold and still

there was a shadow of a man walking down the street

scavenging for things to eat

i realized what isn't mine is his

she stood in a distance

under a dim light waiting for someone to fall for her charms

there is little hailey to be fed she also needs new books she thought to herself

what isn't his is hers

the wind swept the street and it rose to meet the new visitor from the east

the sky now was a bright orange

the night seemed to disappear in a flash

little hailey stirred in her bed

she awoke with new dreams and living hopes

she wanted to make her life better she wanted a better world

this is when i realized it is all theirs

till death comes to me i strive to make this world a little better than it is

if i cant change anyone so be it i will be a good human to others

because the future of the world that those little eyes see deserves to be bright

music as defined by the dictionary is an artistic form of auditory communication incorporating instrumental or vocal tones in a structured and continuous manner.
isn't it much more than that?

well we do owe a lot to the music we grew up on. I think that music is a way of life. it definitely is a way of self-expression. I haven't even heard all the different types of music in the world so i definitely am not an expert but then the different music i have heard and played helps me learn so much.

When i played Arabic music i could see how the crowd reacted how they danced which was way different from what i had seen before. the culture that they shared with other Arabic speaking countries was self evident.

There are so many people around the world who listen to main stream commercial music but still have the same choices.

my flatmate has lived his entire life in the UK and somehow we have similar musical tastes which is quite interesting but brings to light the fact that music unites people.

Why this sudden outburst of revelations? no idea thought about it randomly as usual