There was once a drive a passion to do something different to not conform to be the rebel...somehow that seems to be lost there is still a drive but it is not as passionate there is still a tendency to say "hell no" but it is often not said...

There was a time when it did not matter what people thought, they didnt know me. They still dont know me but I have to think about what they think... my nature seems to change with each step I take maybe it is time to reclaim what I have lost maybe it is time to jump of the cliff and do exactly what I always wanted to do...

Life is filled with twists and turns...some are so beautiful to need to stop and take a deep breath and others hit you so hard that they knock the wind out of you.

Somedays i feel miserable... as though i dont know what I am doing. It feels as if i dont have a future. other days things around me make me feel inspired. whatever be the case life is not worth stopping and not trying to do better. I guess i have realised that, so i toast to a better tommorow and live today.

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream---and not make dreams your master;
If you can think---and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings---nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And---which is more---you'll be a Man, my son!

I often think to myself what am I doing. What do I want to do. Who is with me. Well most of these questions have hazy answers. Sometimes I am able to think straight. There were times in my life when i wanted nothing more then being at a certain place and I would do anything to be there but over the years I relised at times we tend to add complexities to a very simple situation. We tend to overcomplicate a simple thing atleast I do.