My thoughts in monochrome

As I swim deeper into the PhD I have started really understanding myself (or so I think). The more I read the more I research the more I want to move away from this juggernaut of modern-capitalism. I in no ways think it is bad but then I also think it is not the solution to all the problems. I do not have a solution neither do I claim to be intelligent enough to create an ideal solution. But what I do realize is that there are multiple views and you cannot write them off just because someone said so.

Where do I go?

I look as the world goes by and I wonder what am I going to do? I feel trapped at times, dillusioned at others and  optimistic in others. Hanging on, giving it time are all too taxing on my self. Maybe I should think about myself and do What I want to do the most. Maybe the way forward is to take a complete break from the past. Maybe it is not. 

When your thoughts start leaving you

It is wonderful when your brain has one dominant logic, is'nt it? But does that really happen? I guess it must happen for a lot of people. For me my thoughts keep going all over the place I dream with eyes open. I do not think this is wrong. Humans are complex so let chaos reign. But the real problem is when my dreams are at two different ends of a spectrum what to do then. I am sometimes just not able to make a decision I am too scared, maybe I hate the feeling that I will regret it later. Maybe I am thinking too much into it right now. 

The World Cup and Things

With the World Cup almost coming to an end it is very important to see what Brazil as a nation has achieved from hosting the mega event. Given the protests that took place before the event started and also during the initial days of the world cup it is interesting that no newspaper is now talking about what is happening now. It was definitely one of the most interesting and absorbing world cup I have seen . That is the thing about perspective I guess. We always see only one side of the story and many a times we have information about only one side of the story. Can we then really pass judgement? India is hosting the under-19 world cup soon. I wonder if we will be prepared in time and I really do hope it will benefit the sport. 

Life goes on

Do you ever read your old emails? I do at times and I wonder.
I do not know how it came to pass
I do not know where I would be in times to come
I do not know how I got here from where I was
But I do understand that life goes on

Was I wrong? Was I right? these are questions that I fight
When I think in solitary I cannot help but dream of a world that came crashing in
Where would I be had I not gone that road
Where would I be if things were done differently
Would I have been me?

There are those who look back with pride some look back in anger
and there are others who look back and become sad
but I look back and get confused
I do not know where to begin and where to end
all I know is this is not the end